Snake ring
ohmygodohmygodohmygodohmygodohmygodohmygodohmygod
…..someone buy these for me. NOW! I must have them all!!!
Do want.
Wuff
I am 32 pounds lighter and am actually able to sit up for longer than 3 minutes at a time. korde and I had our surgeries the same day, though hers was 2 hours earlier and mine lasted three hours longer. So of course, being the young chipper thing she is, she is recovering faster. I have a staff.
Farewell to Huey, Dewey, Louie, Ptooie, and Melyria. May you forever rot at the bottom of the biohazard bag where you belong, or wherever it is they disposed of you after being biopsied.
The hospital food wasn’t half bad.
Also Michael since I know you read this, call me. I’m bored and while I can sit up longer than 10 minutes, 20 is pushing it.
How to PvP in Darnassus
1. Die to someone less geared than you.
2. Rez without unflagging.
3. Die again. Hope it intimidates your enemies.
4. Rez again and stay in the same spot.
5. Die again to someone less geared than you and his friend.
6. Pretend you were AFK the whole time, even though others saw you moving around.
7. Refute screenshots taken of you dead.
8. Resume AFK status by bank.
9. Claim solo victory.
Things I would Like to See in WoW
Oh Blizzard, why do you do this to me? If you’re going to do extended maintenance, why not make some decent changes while you’re in there? I have some suggestions!
1. Weather in cities. I never see any sort of weather in Orgrimmar or Stormwind. Sure, I can understand having no weather in Ironforge, Undercity, or Exodar. Those places are indoors and the most weather one could possibly hope for is smoke due to some idiot gnome trying out a fireworks display or a hapless apothecary mixing the wrong ingredients and filling the entire Undercity with pink bubbles. (That would be kinda cool, actually) Would it be too much to ask for to include the main population hubs in the weather rotation?
2. More diverse/extreme weather. Another weather related thing. I think it’s cool that we have rain, snow, and sandstorms in places where it would make climatic sense for them. But what about a random snowstorm in Elwynn? Especially in “winter” Are we to believe that everywhere that isn’t Dun Morough is the tropics? Another thing that would be cool is cumulative weather effects. I’m dreaming, but wouldn’t it be awesome to splish in rain puddles, slog through snow that’s ankle deep, and have to dig herbs out of sand drifts? RP-wise, weather is a gold mine.
3. Surf. I don’t mean the type where you grab a board and ride waves. I just mean any waves, particularly the ones that break on the beach. What we have now is apathetic water that looks stagnant just about every place except where there are waterfalls. Blizzard outdid itself with the waterfalls, I think. What would complete the picture is some churning surf at the bottom so it doesn’t look like a crashing, thundering waterfall isn’t disappearing into water-colored gravy. And ships leaving from Booty Bay, Rachet, and Stormwind Harbor should be kicking up waves, not ripples. Even swimmers should be able to make a cannonball.
4. Hairstyles. Yeah, yeah, sue me. I played Aion for all of two weeks, which was the time it took me to get to level 22 and realize everything after that was going to be a hideous death-grind. But the character customization was phenomenal. There were at least 80 hairstyles. We have what…..12? I know Blizzard is primarily made up of men, but it would be nice if they could expand the barber’s shop a little. Maybe even put in a color slider for added awesomeness….which brings me to my next point…
5. Customization. All creatures in a race are not the same height. Could we get some tools to muck with our toons please? A height slider would be awesome, though there’d have to be a limit on it so people aren’t making 2 foot high humans and playing them as toddlers. (When you’re on MG, you know exactly what they’d try to do with that, don’t say you don’t. Disgusting.) And an eye color chart would be nice, along with afore-mentioned hair color slider. And a body-type modifier. Not every night elf is going to be built the same way. I imagine a warrior is built a little more heavily than a priestess.
6. Tiered queues. Dungeons or BGs, everyone is annoyed when there’s a person in their group who obviously shouldn’t be there, whether it’s the new 85 who bought the 377 healing pvp gear so they could get into HoT heroics as a tank, or the clueless idiot in your BG with 100k less health than everybody else. I’m not sure how such a system would work, as looking purely at ilvl wouldn’t screen out the pvp nut. But I’m sure the more techno-minded people could figure out a system.
This is just a short list of some of the many things I’ve noticed. I know a lot of these have to do with Blizzard’s reluctance to lose subscribers. The character customization we have now is based upon the fact that Blizzard wants everyone to be able to play, no matter how bad their computer is. This has been the way of things for the six years WoW has been up and the simple fact is, most gamers have better computers now. Even casual people have better computers by default. I think the general public can handle a few more pixels. If I think of anything else, I’ll add it. Now stop mucking with the servers, Blizzard, and let me back in. It’s Tuesday and I have things to do!
Your Healer and You, a Guide for Tanks
A group is only as strong or as weak as its healer. This goes for dungeon runs, heroics, and raids. As tanks, we tend to think that the group revolves solely around the enormous gravitational black hole that is our egos and none may escape this inexorable pull, but this is not necessarily so. After all, there is one member of the group that does not pull their weight in DPS, or aggro, or anything else, really, and that is the sole member of the group responsible for keeping you alive. Your healer. This guide will help you to forge a better relationship with said healer, and if possible, the group dynamics needed to keep them happy, responsible, and above all, honest.
1) Healers are stupid. The ones that complain “Holy crap, you’re squishy” are nubfucks that need to be put into their place. Remind them how long you’ve been tanking, show them all the stam gems you’ve been stacking, and ask them repeatedly about the sexuality of their mothers.
2) The slightest drop in your health means your healer is not doing his fucking job. Scream at them. If they stop to heal the dps, scream louder. It’s not the healer’s job to heal the DPS, everyone knows DPS are expendable. YOUR health is the only one’s health that matters.
3) Any healer worth their salt should be able to heal through a cleave, so don’t bother to turn the mob/boss/dragon that does it away. This is a good way to test whether or not your healer is any good. If they complain about it, votekick them.
4) Mana is useless. If your healer at any time needs to stop and drink, they are obviously not managing their regen properly and should be ridiculed relentlessly. After all, it’s your job to pull as fast as possible and stopping to drink will only slow YOU down.
5) Remember, you’re the tank. You should be able to stand wherever you damn well please. It’s the healer’s job to heal you even if you happen to be standing in green goo, purple fire, or red charge lines. Moving out of these things is a sign of weakness.
6) Anyone who plays a gnome or a goblin is a retard and must be told so. Those races are stupid and only put in to give 12 year olds something to do. Remind these healers that they are not ‘real’ and need to reroll as soon as possible to be taken seriously.
7) You know what aura/stance/presence to be in. If the healer asks, even politely, for you to change it to the one traditionally used for “tanking” (i.e. blood presence, devotion aura, defensive stance) explain using as many expletives as possible that you NEED the extra dps and they should be able to pick up the slack. Fuck them.
8) Your sheer awesomeness alone is enough to keep aggro. Clearly, if the healer pulls aggro from you by healing you, they were taunting. Yes, they were. Yes, they WERE AND THEY MUST BE PUNISHED.
9) You don’t have to switch gear. You’re in tank aura, that’s good enough. Ignore the complaints from your healer about your dps gear and just pull already. Gotta keep ‘em honest.
I want to clarify that I never really…. refused to do this. It’s just that I don’t see the logic in it… or didn’t. I have realized that refusing to take a picture of my bare stomach could be seen as covering a lie so, here you are. My stomach in all its glory.
I haven’t edited the image at all except to resize it from 4000x3000 to 1000x750
I knew as soon as I posted about not being able to find my results that I’d find them. Yes, I blurred out a LOT of info, but I’m a pretty private person and I left the stuff that was important. I wish I had the header on that picture, but it was the best one to come out.
I hope this is good enough for most people. I feel like I’m just going to get more criticisms though for blurring so much out.
Incidentally I blurred out my middle name because they spelled it SO WRONG… and then they spelled my first name wrong the second time it appears on the page.
Why can doctor’s offices never spell your name right?
ETA: Also, I’ve been told I should probably include this. The definition of fibroid can be found: http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/fibroid
ETA2: For any further doubters a link to prove the doctor is real: http://www.healthgrades.com/physician/dr-louba-laurie-22sd7
I can’t believe I’m doing this, but I’m pretty desperate.
That picture is me. I am not pregnant. That is my tumor.
It’s benign, but only in that it’s not going to kill me. In many other ways it’s very malignant. The least of my problems being that it’s gotten to the point where I have to ask for help tying my shoes and ended up buying slip on shoes so I didn’t have to ask for help. I’m tired all the time to the point where I will literally sleep fifteen hours a day if I can. My immune system is in the toilet and my medical bills are through the roof.
I’ve known, medically, about this tumor since August of 2011 when I finally saw a doctor about my oddly protruding abdomen, but I have been dealing with this this since early 2010. It’s just getting worse and worse.
So, I’m asking for donations. I already have over a thousand dollars in bills I can’t pay and I still don’t know how much the surgery to have it removed is going to cost. I do know I’m going to have to spend 2-3 days in the hospital and that will probably cost twice whatever the surgery is, if not more. I’d really appreciate it if I could get some help.
If you’re willing to help please send donations to my PayPal at lorde.korde@gmail.com
Even two dollars will help. And if you can’t afford even that much then do me a favor and pass this on. Reblog, tweet about, it whatever is applicable. Every little bit helps.
